I guess I haven't really written about many aspects of my personal life so I'll just rant about something that happened yesterday night with my boyfriend and friends. Many people-I'm guessing- have different friends for different reasons right? Maybe you feel more comfortable around one group of friends than the other or a certain group makes you feel a different way than the other. Well, I have my group of friends who are very socially conscience-meaning they are into socializing and have the 'who knows who' mentality that I thought at one time I liked and was accepted in but now I feel as though I'm kidding myself. I don't consider myself a fake person and a while ago I really cared about knowing as many people as I could, going to tons of parties, etc. Call it maturity or growing up but now I find those same 'friends' unbearable and have started to go back to the group of friends I had been neglecting for some time and realized for the first time last week that I've never been more myself around anyone before than around my boyfriend and the neglected friends.
Anyways-my boyfriend isn't necessarily socially awkward but it takes a long time for him to warm up to people so I hadn't introduced him to the snobby friends for obvious reasons. He loves hanging out with the other group though. I was invited to a party and decided to go with him so they all could finally meet him (actually they kept on nagging me to bring him a long just so that they could really judge him). We arrive and immediately we get smirks, whispers, etc. My friends meet him but I can tell their greedy buggy eyes are looking him up and down and are surprised. I could visibily see him freeze up and become uncomfortable. One of them pulls me aside and says, "Wow, I didn't know your boyfriend was..." She left the last bit hanging. Immediately I get defensive and say "Was what?" She sort of blushes and says, "You know...white. You never told us! So he's really your boyfriend or is he just your friend? I didn't know guys like him dated...girls like you."
I kid you not ladies and gentlemen. This is what she said. At that moment more than anything I wanted to be back with my other friends-away from Suburbia.
"Girls like me?" I asked? She scoffs and begins to say " I wasn't being...I just-" I then decided to cross the room and go to my bf saying 'Lets go' and left. I felt so bad bringing him but I thought they wouldn't be so blatantly shocked by it. Really? Is this the world we live in?
Friends my ass. I wipe my hands clean of them.
I hadn't told them his race because I honestly didn't think it was an important aspect of him. That's just not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of him because there are sooo many other ways to describe him. And anyways-what does it matter? I've never declared to prefer any type of guy because I've dated different types of races-so why is it such a big freakin' deal in 2009? And it insulted me even more that she would still question if he is really my boyfriend.
We ended up going to my other friend's house and having good conversations with like minded cool people-the kind of conversation amongst good company that I'd been craving for so long I hadn't realized. I can't believe I'd been so conceited for so long and knew that I'd been missing out for a long while.
This post may lead to a separate one-maybe something to do with dating in the metal scene. It's not really important anyways but I felt like I should write about it and see what what you guys thought.
*sigh* I guess sometimes I'm really disappointed in humanity because we have the potential to be better. My bf jokes that I'm a misanthrope and I'm starting to think I am. Or maybe that night is why I hardly hang out with my girl friends anymore.
10 comments:
Your girl friends are black ? What looks like your boyfriend ? Long hair ? Good-looking ?
It’s important for understanding.
I'm just as curious as Anonymous is...Are your so called friends black??? This isn't going to jusify my statement I was just wondering...But that does suck to know for so long you thought those people were actually ok to be around. At least you know who your real freinds are.
Both groups are multi racial-meaning there are black people, whites, latino's.
Anon-my bf is attractive to me but looks are subjective. He does have long hair and a little stubble on his chin. 6'1 and has brown eyes. *shrug* If that helps.
Luke said...
bitches be tripping I guess, socialites are scum.
What is your email address?
I have to talk to you definitely.
Mine is
Shockheadd45@gmail.com
(I only use my hotmail.com for checking new messages and updates, because no one ever contacts me on it) And I also have a youtube with the same username.
I'm 16, and also am a Black dude, who is Christian, but also loves Metal a helluva lot too. I listen to everything except most Black Metal I actually prefer Venom/King Diamond/Bathory/Behemoth, but I hate Pop and fucking emo, which both are the double trouble corrupting evil twins of music. They both suck. And as a warning, I have nothing against gay or lesbians in general (*coughs Brokeback Mountain or 2 Girls and 1 Cup) but to me, the genres are like a lesbian sister and gay brother are stick close together, who are so different, but compliment each other well. Now I obviously realize all people are crazy, and all music has both genres, but that's the context of how used in a majority. It's like both horrible genres of music, we're made for each other.
Derick: Sorry I responded back so late. If you get a weird email out of the blue its probably from me but for obvious reasons I prefer not to put my email out there.
Venom and King Crimson-nice! I tend to listen to more folk metal but we are all brothers and sisters in this community.
Awesome, but I'm a huge fan of Progressive/Thrash/Sludge/Death/Funk/Alternative/Hardcore/Groove/Southern/Industrial/and Rap Metal.
If i were you i would never hang out with that group again... That thing she said is just bad... not possible... and so judgmental. Bury those friendships because they are of no good for you.
My friend what I think about it is we should be how we are it's just feeling the the souls' energy and accepting what our heart thinking on.
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