Monday, December 7, 2009

Dating In The Metal Scene Pt. 2: Race Issues

It was inevitable that my choice in music would affect what kind of person I would date. I had the formula and code for what type of guy I would like (*see King Ov Hell in pt. 1)...but then here comes the awkward part. Finding someone who would like me. Let's not beat around the bush here, my choices were (and to an extent still are) extremely limited. I've dating out of my race a lot, not purposely. I have no secret agenda or past rue against black men. I do find them physically appealing. But realistically-how many black guys do you personally know that listen to Folk/Black Metal, or hell, even metal? I've met a few in the past-but they were already dating someone else or I was dating someone else at the time. In fact, a good bit of black guys usually think I'm either a weirdo or an 'assimilator'. But, that's a whole other post.

To this day, I've dated one black guy who had similar interests but it didn't work out.

Anyways, around 14 or 15, I went out to local concerts and parties with friends. I was usually the only black anything there and I would SWOON over these guys that were there but they didn't pay any attention to me. I was always just 'the black girl' that was there, adorned but insignificant. I could know so much more about music in general than my girl friends, have probably more in common with these guys, make jokes with them but still none of them were ever interested. I liked a particular boy, who looked like a mini version of Bartek Borweic. I didn't just like him-I convinced myself that I loved him. He was a friend of a friend and we got along really well the few times we hung out. So one day, we were talking outside of a venue and a group of his friends were snickering behind him. They wanted him to come back so they could enter the place, he waved good bye but I heard one of his friends say, "Why do you talk to her? You don't even like black girls. " and my crush replied, "I'm just being nice". My world was crushed. After that, I just assumed all the guys I liked didn't like me because I was black.

But, it seemed like as soon as I stopped looking for someone, they came to me. My first boyfriend, J, I met at a friends house. It was her cousin. I thought he initially was attractive, but believed he wouldn't like me, then a month after meeting he asked me out.

J was an anime nerd ( he also got me into anime. Shh-don't tell anyone-but I'm a secret anime/video game geek. You wouldn't know by looking at me!) but also liked heavy metal and could play bass very well. That lasted a year-then I broke up with him because I was bored (ah, youth!).
Then as I got older, I found that if I didn't try so hard to search, it just happened. I met more people, got a job, went to all types of shows. I accumulated more guy friends and in that way, men have become so much easier to talk to/deal with.

My current boyfriend is my ideal package. He's smart, compassionate, not a skinny little waif like I've dated in the past but actually has muscle, sarcastic like me, has plans/goals, sweet, hard working, long hair, hairy, is open minded, loves his folk metal and loves me...

But he hates anime.
Oh well, no ones perfect.

The point I'm trying to make is that for a black girl who likes this type of music exclusively, dating can be challenging. I personally didn't have a problem with the whole race thing, but some guys in the past were just damn uncomfortable with the idea. As if dating a black girl wasn't very "metal". Because, lets face it, when most people (society) think of black women-its mostly a negative representations.
And in my experience, its not so much me that makes them uncomfortable, but the ever present thought 'What will everyone think?'.
I learned a long time ago that If I became what everyone wanted me to be, I'd be freakin' miserable. Quite honestly, speaking of race issues gets super tiring and frustrating-especially in this community-but it's there. I can't pretend its not and turn a blind eye like everyone ( mass media) else has been doing. I don't have an issue with it but everyone else seems to.
Issues with race and dating still is a huge deal to a lot of people-rightfully so! It's dangerous not to be cautious.
But its not dangerous to be open minded.


Nails said...

I'm glad you wrte this! The same things happened to me, I used to like this guy who was at least fifty pounds underweight. I knew he probably did like me , but he never made a move and it was because of my race. Trying to find a guy is hard. I even have people complaining that i'm too "wierd" for a guy to like. So now i'm sixteen (14 and 15 when I was crushing.Two years is a super long time!!) and i've given up on thoughts of finding a significant other. I'm just going to wait until college. Maybe the people there will be a bit open minded ( I'm hoping lol)

The Black Girl into Heavy Metal said...

@Nails-What!? Your giving up on love and your only 16! Don't!You have a lifetime of love and adventure ahead of you (I feel really old for saying that since I'm still young too, lol). Like I said, if you find that you've been unsuccessful looking, don't look anymore and let it happen w/ out the effort.
And thanks for the comment. I like hearing feedback from people who have parallel experiences as well as those who want to know what its like.

Anonymous said...

luke sez:

now I feel like a senior citizen (28)
and two years is short, 2009 just flew past this year.

hey BGIHM, I saw Dream Theater on Monday, they were freaking incredible, way better live than they are on the recording.
and a few weeks ago I saw Opeth for the 4th time.

Nuclear Mamba said...

Awesome, you wrote it. =) Quality entry.

I definitely see what you mean because it seems like for a non-black (or white in general) man to even take a glance at at a black girl, you have to be no more than one centimeter away from physical perfection, or else you'll be deemed ugly and passed over for a sub-par white girl. I find it very discouraging that black girls are often swept to the side because of what others perceive us as, whether it's true or not. Also, when we are found attractive by someone who's not usually into black girls, it's assumed that we're mixed. What's up with that?

Perhaps all of this can be seen as a good thing, because the color of our skin alone seems to weed out the jackasses. However, it does get to be a bit much sometimes because it seems like almost everyone is that way. Anyway, I digress. I'm probably just ranting my little heart away about nothing.

Anyway, you're super lucky that you snatched up your current boyfriend. You two really sound like a ridiculously cute couple. I wish you the best of luck.

The Black Girl into Heavy Metal said...

@Luke-Ha, for some reason I would have thought you were much older (I was thinking older 40s late 30s) Maybe that means you come across as distinguished?
Ah, I'm mucho jealous that you saw Dream Theater-unfortunately I've been to poor to go to any concerts since seeing Opeth late summer (which was AMAZING) and you've seen them four times! Bully on you!
@Nuclear Mamba-I hate that its like this. I dated a guy once (for like-4 months) who I thought that I had to be super skinny to be with so for a while I had an eating disorder even though I started out at 120lbs and ended at 109lbs! I think being women we already have to live up to a standard but being a BLACK woman we have to live up to even more standards and in a way prove ourselves even more just to be accepted (by blacks and whites). Which I don't. I fight back by not straightening my hair, tanning in the summer, and trying my best to get a quality education.
And I've gotten the, "definetly mixed with something", crap and I find it offensive as well. People are always surprised when i tell them my parents are African. One guy told me flat out, 'You don't look African'. WTF!?
Thanks you for your comment and compliment and please, stay for more!

helluvadrug said...

oh yeah, the "mixed" thing; typical douchbaggery.

everything i wanted to say has already been said. :] So the only thing left to say would be: Awesome Article!

FluffyIsKewl said...

Hey! Sorry i haven't checked your blog for a very long time :(, anyway i was the girl who was half black/half indian.

This comment is about both dating in the metal scenes combined.

I have to agree with you partially with the whole attraction thing (i am attracted to metal guys but i am also attracted to "normal guys"). The long hair drives me crazy!I find it interesting that you see it as a bit feminine, i never thought of it that way.

Here's a list of metal guys i think who are hot( in no specific order):
1. Synyster Gates (Avenged Sevenfold, i don't listen to them , but he is hot)
2. Satyr (Satyricon, when he was less mainstream and with the long hair)
3. Frost (Satyricon, i really don't like his voice though)
4. Shagrath (dimmu borgir, i used to think he's hot, but i no longer know with the whole marriage thing)
5. Hellhammer (dimmu borgir, apperntly he's half morrocan!!!)
6. Nagash (Kovenant, ex-dimmu borgir, he was hot with the long hair but he no longer has it)
7. Nocturno Culto (Darkthrone)
8. Fenriz (Darkthrone, yes i actually think he's atractive)
9. Nuclear Holocausto (Beherit, hot when he was younger, but i can't tell now)
10. King (Gorgoroth)

Since i only listen to doom/death/black, my list only includes these kind of people. I practically find every guy in metal bands attractive, which i personally think is weird of me, if that makes any sense. do you agree/disagree with me?

Previously, you commented on my comment about how i would be more comfortable being in a room with blacks or indians than klansmen. Actually, i really don't know. Whenever i am with my indian or black relatives, i feel so different from them, which makes things really awkward. In places that only have indians, i get these weird looks because i don't look very indian. I have noticed that even by being myself and not even trying, i don't fit into anywhere.

Anyway, i think it absolutely horrible that that guy told "that he's just being nice" :(. Since i have never dated or ever even been to a concert, i practically have no experience with metal guys (i am 15 years old), though there were two metal guys that graduated who just saw me as a friend. When you get married, if you plan on doing, do you hope to marry a metal guy?

From what i've read from your blog, i am not quite sure if you said if you're really attracted to black men. For me, i am attracted to all kinds of races, though i am a sucker for blondes :).

Also i was really wondering about what you think about BDSM, sexism (do you support it?), and "extreme" fetishes.

The kind of men you're attracted to, are they more mettalica kind of men, or more extreme metal kind of me?

Another thing that really bother's me about the extreme metal community is that it is quite difficult to know who is racist and who is not (other than varg vikernes of course), which makes me quite dissapointed/confused, etc. Do find this being a problem?

Anonymous said...

Luke sez:

That's weird because in real life I don't come off as mature or distinguished at all...

The 3rd time I saw Opeth I had the flu and was getting booger all over myself, this last one totally made up for it, I rocked out in the pit all night.

Nuclear Mamba said...

Oh wow, you had an eating disorder? That sounds like a brutal thing to go through, so I'm glad that you got out of it before it was too late. Isn't it amazing what things we'll go through for the sake of what others define as beautiful?

Another odd thing is that a lot of people seem to have this certain image of what "black" is. When I tell people I'm not mixed, it's like they don't want to listen. "Well, SURELY you've got some different blood in you somewhere in your family tree...", they say. People these days. Is it so bad to be full black but at the same time recognize that we all come in all colors?

Also, are you natural, too? Right on. My last relaxer was almost exactly a year ago, and I'm still excited to be without it. How long have you been in your anti-straightening routine? btw, is that your awesome afro in your avatar?

I apologize for getting all 21 questions on you.

The Black Girl into Heavy Metal said...

Gah! So much to respond to!
@ Fluffy: (This is going to be a tad long) Ah, your 15. Now your past comments on other posts make more sense. Um, I'd say generally-I've ALWAYS liked men with long hair. Be them metal heads, hippies, etc. It's just sexy to me. I like the list of sexy metal heads (I might do a seperate post on that for the ladies...King of course being #1 in my book, heh). As for men in metal, it depends. You remind me of myself at that age. I LOVED anyone in a band but as I got older- guys in bands, I realized, have a bit of the "rockstar" mentality and I find arrogance a HUGE turn off. I'm more attracted to guys who don't really know they are hot but in my experience guys in bands think they are hot and the ones that really are KNOW they are-then they just turn into divas w/ too many girls around them=douchebags. But I don't mind if they play an instrument.
And hey, you do fit in somewhere. You fit in here! And trust me, the difference between the Klan men and black/indian folks is that one will just talk about you and make you feel uncomfortable and one will just straight up kill you (at the very least rape). Your choice, lol. Plus, when you get older, you will start to branch out and meet more people with different ideas. Trust me, as you get older your opinion of black people will become different. I know on the surface we all seem alike to many but I've met tons of black girls/guys in college who I call friends with common interest.
Marriage? Only the future knows who I'll marry. I've had friends who are die hard metal fans and suddenly date jocky/ preppy guys/girls and fall in love. I always imagined myself with someone like me but thats not always the case. Sometimes you need someone completly different from you to balance yourself-so when that day comes you'll be the first to know.
Oh, I love black guys. But they have to have long hair too. Any guys with dreads automatically turn me on, like Kingdom. Or b( SO HOT. But again, they have to be into my kind of scene/music hence why I've only dated one. I like all races too but I've always liked men with darker hair...I think its sensuos(sp?). There are a few exceptions (Bartek Borwoweic.
Okay, I'm going to continue with a new comment post so just keep reading down.

The Black Girl into Heavy Metal said...

Continued@Fluffy: Phew, okay. Sorry for the typos in the last post.
BDSM and fetish. Yes I do support this. There is a woman on youtube (gloriousmandestroyer) who you may like. She's really into fetishism (Ball busting, dungeons, peeing, yeah) and she openly talks about being a Dom as well as her passions (She's into "jesus" looking boys with long hair, lol. But she's so afrocentric). Anyways, I think everyone should feel free to express themselves sexually because to me, sex is very animalistic and we are animals ourselves. All of us have different needs and aren't all turned on by the same thing.
Sexism, I don't support. Be it on both sides. No one should feel limited to anything because of their gender.
Eh, and metal heads I'm attracted to? I'm not too much into "screamo" scene/hardcore boys anymore like I was when I was younger. Or 'false' metal heads. The kind that thinks Five Finger Death Punch is a metal band. Anything else is fine.
Again, concerning the racism in extreme metal. I think there is a fine line between nationalism and racism. Most would confuse the two. Not all extreme metal guys are racist-of course there are the bad eggs. I might touch about this in the next post. It's not hard to spot out the bad eggs. In terms of bands just go to 'metalheads against racism' and they have a list of bands who support that movement. Then you can go to NSBM's main web site and look at the bands that do support such idealogies. Now men, just talk to them and see their views. If they dislike you because your black, oh well. They aren't worth it in the first place. I've never come across any that I know of (In terms of extreme metal heads. You can have a preference to not date black women and not be racist). Most are just very passionate on their views-be it political, religious, and even nationalistic.
Okay, sorry for the long posts and thanks for the comment. It was fun responding to your questions! Post if you have any more.

The Black Girl into Heavy Metal said...

@Luke: I once went to a local show and hours before I engaged in *ahem* some illegal activities. Anyways I ended up throwing up in the middle of a mosh pit.
Being sick at shows suck.
@Nuclear Mamba: What!? I love your comments and I like 21 questions. It makes me feel like people are reading my blog and I'm not just mindlessly posting dribble.
I had put relaxer in my hair ever since I could remember and just randomly decided I wanted an afro because I was sick of wearing fake hair and still feeling hideous/plastic. So I had a fro for a year then decided to get dreadlocs. I've had em' for two years and would never go back to relaxed hair for the life of me. It's weird but I feel sexier by wearing my natural hair out than I ever did with boring straight long hair. I wish that sweet fro was mine in the avatar. I just wanted an avatar that added an element of anonyminity (<-bad spelling)and the pic was perfect. High five for being natural too. Don't ya love it? Do you feel liberated?
Yeah, the eating disorder sucked. I was depressed through most of it but thought that was what he and everyone around us wanted. Now I'm a healthy 124lbs.
Oh god, the black community has so many issues to sort out. Hell, the world in relation to black people do! Because I've heard the mixed business from black AND white people and every color inbetween. I've had people ask me if my hair was real and if I tell them it is then I MUST be mixed with something. I had a little old white lady ask me if it was real when it was short little locs. I've asked people why they believe me to be they either say it's because the way I talk or because I don't really 'look' African. I don't have light skin, light eyes, or wavy hair or other features that would imply that I'm not African or African American (Not saying there are not pure black people with such features. I'm just generalizing). What people view as black as well as African for that matter is completely warped as if they have tunnel vision. I so agree that we all look different and come in different packages. Just like anyone else. There are dark South Asian, dark Indians, dark Southern European white folks, etc and all the people in the middle. Aren't we allowed this as well?
Thanks for the comment!

Fluffy:) said...

Yes i'm 15 :). Does that show i'm immature or something? :)
About the eating disorder thing, just wondering, how tall are you? (i always like to compare my weight to others).

I get how you find how cocky and arrogant is a turn off but i consider myself a masochist, and usually cocky and arrogant guys are sadists which is what i'm into.

I can't stand black guys with dreads!!! I hate hate hate dreads! The only black guy that i've ever found attractive was the black guy from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (sorry i don't know his name).

A couple of questions:
What exactly do you mean by afrocentric?
Just wondering, are you christian?
Do you have any weird fetishes? :)

Anonymous said...

I am a listener of black metal of European origin and I am going to give my opinion (sorry for my english). Rares are the bands of metal which expose ideal racists in their music. And maybe, you love an artist who has a racist view without even to know it, because his music doesn’t express inevitably racists thoughts.
In Burzum for example, the lyrics isn’t racists while the artist Varg Vikernes is clearly racist. And you, you must be communist to appreciate a communist artist (Napalm Death) for example ? Burzum, it speaks about what? Of inheritances, ancestors, hate, country, death, violence, pride, misanthropy as 99 % of bands of black metal … For a white man, to want to respect his inheritance and his ancestors, it’s to be racist ? If it is the case, all the bands of Pagan Metal are racists because all lyrics speak of this. Arckanum for example, use old swedish language in their lyrics (if you arrive to translate it, call me) and themes and legends very nationalists.
Ad Hominem for example has a fascist imaging like Aborym, politically classifiable at right (“right” anarchism like Nietsche or Schopenhauer) as many bands of black metal, but we cannot speak about racism.
Furthermore, even if it’s true that numerous metalheads don’t love black people (and humans), I have never seen a metalhead assaulting somebody in the pretext that he is black, even though he doesn’t love the blacks (honestly, the concerts of hip hop are far more dangerous). Agitators of disorder, there is people like this everywhere and you can have a racist guy polite who assault nobody and you can have a guy who isn’t racist, who fuck and who assault everybody permanently.
Also, you will have more luck to be tolerated if you are a girl in the concerts of metal (women are rare in metal) even for those who don’t love black people.
Later, you should not confuse elitism, discrimination and racism. Certain metalheads "whites" don’t want to live with millions African or Asian in their country. But this doesn’t mean that they don’t like them. Do you understand me ? Some europeans are irritated by the massive immigration in Europe today who modifies the lifestyle of their ancestors. But this doesn’t mean that they are racists. It’s logical to defend yourself in front of an aggression.

Many bands of black metal are misanthropes and nihilists. Already, they are marginal. A band of black metal sells relatively little album.
Concerning the mixed couples, similar. Some metalheads think that this end in a renunciation of their inheritance.

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Anonymous said... your thang!!! And fuck what n e body has to say about it. For the record, there are quite a few black guys who are into heavy/goth/death metal scene here. Unfortunately, race is always an issue....even in the darkest of circles. No matter how much you may have in common, no matter how intelligent or well spoken you are, no matter how many of the same things you have in're still a black guy. Cool to hang out with, but not cool enough to date or be seen with when the sun comes up! lol Hopefully "black girls" have it easier:-)

RockNRollSista said...

I am happy that you wrote this. It is hard to date in the metal scene for black chicks. My 1st bf was a punk and my current is a metal head. Neither of which are black. It is good to be open minded eff all of the haters. The black guys who are into metal rarely want a black chick anyway. I am with u on this sis.

sulfugor said...

Being a black guy in the metal scene for almost 2 decades, some things appear clear to me.

People : Extreme Metal is essentially white music. Of course not everyone is racist but many into it are. Many more are not in themselves racists but they're not worked up over racism. There are very few extreme metalheads who are like antifa punks and frankly that's alright because i do NOT like the antifa antiracist mindset anyways.

Dating can be tough. I have a few fellow black male friends who did manage to find suitable mates who are either in the scene or close. It's possible but of course the average white metal chick is NOT predisposed to like black men. (Just like your average black women is not especially open to white guys)
That goes without saying.
Among those who are not particularly into black men, there's a proportion who can be made to consider them. There's of course a proportion of them who will not be into black men for any reason at all.
Another possibility are white girls who actually find black men attractive but who don't date them because they don't like how it usually turns out. My ex gf for example only dated one black guy , me, even though she didn't have a problem with black looks. She did have a feeling that most black people had nothing in common with her culturally and lifestylewise.

I think it helps if you are basically assimilated. I have seen several examples of black metal chicks who were with good looking white metal guys. The black girls were totally assimilated though. Basically, some of the white people might not have a problem with your looks but they don't feel a connection to black culture at all so they don't even imagine dating a black person.

Remember also that a lot of metalheads define themselves in opposition to black/hiphop/urban culture and who represents urban music ? Black people of course so there's an uphill battle to be fought.

In conclusion, metal is eurocentric to the core. That has consequences.
For myself, i don't question metal's eurocentricity. It was like that before i found it so it's not my place to change it or to tell europeans to stop playing european music. Besides, it's its very europeanness that attracted me probably. And i dwell in one of the more racist metal subcultures :)

Dating said...

That's weird because in real life I don't come off as mature or distinguished at all...

BIG AL said...

in the 80s i used to go to a lot of concerts,and while there,always was on the hunt for black girls,
there is probably nothing more beautiful to me is a black womans booty in tight jeans or spandex,a
sight to behold among a sea of skinny asses.if given the opportunity ,i would always flirt with them,and most were very receptive,if not down right shocked.but my efforts paid off and i met a lot of cool girls that way ,some of whom i am still friends with 20 yrs
is my mail,send me a pic of you in your metal days
that would be fantastic.bye ladies.rock on.

Anonymous said...

hey, awsome blog. i have a similar problem, except reversed. im a white metalhead, age 18, who like black women. i live in a diverse area, gone to school with many black friends, etc, but i never felt accepted by the black women i know or come across because of my long hair, metal interest, seems like they have no interest in me. though, i havent met any that like metal...til then , i suppose.

Eggs said...

"You don't look African" - that makes me laugh! I'll preface this by saying I'm European (which means various parts Hungarian, German, French, Croatian and possibly Roma (gypsy) and Jewish) but always get asked if I'm Italian. So what sort of African are these people referring to? Nigerian? In which case ethnically you could be Ijaw, Igbo, Yoruban. Ethiopian? In which case you could be Afar, Agaw, Amhara. North African? Are you Berber, Dinka, Arab, French maybe? African American? Africa is thought to be the most ethnically diverse place in the world, especially West Africa, so it's plain ignorance when people say things like "You don't look African".
Whew!!! Now I got that rant off my chest, let's move on.
As some of the comments have indicated, I think there's a little apprehension from all sides about the questions of race, dating and music. As if things weren't tricky enough, being really into a music scene is a great way to further marginalise/liberate yourself and can either shrink your pool of prospective partners or grow it.
You do find though that as you get older, into college, out of college, make a wider circle of friends, throw off the shackles of what family/friends expect and become your own person opportunities start to open up where you never knew they existed.
Keep an open mind and an open heart (I know, gross Oprahism!) and you meet all sorts of wonderful, interesting people of all manner of races, cultures and interests.
I'm not a metalhead (though I do listen to heavier music like Entombed, the Melvins, Motorhead along with everything from country, classical through to jazz) but I think you're blog is great. Keep up the good work!

Alexis said...

Love this article. I'm young (14) but I got lucky to find my bf who is also black and not only loves metal but he's the vocalist and bassist of his band. Once after a show, a white girl told him he has the perfect voice for screaming which I believe is totatlly true. And at the last show I went to, two other bands had black guys in them: one was a beast vocalist and the other a drummer. It's always cool to see black people doing what's said to be a "white" thing.
Again great article :)

LuvRuffians said...

I just found your blog and I love it to death! I have the exact same problems when it comes to dating and socializing. Especially other black girls who aren't into metal and think I'm weird. Plus findin a guy is super hard! Especially since I live in the south in a redneck town. Where dating a black chick is like fuckin taboo! I have one other black friend whose kinda like me but she sometimes switches on me(one minute shell like metal next she's like pop. Ew!) so she can socialize better than me. Plus the way I dress, chains, band shirts, crazy hair styles, alway calls for a double take but I don't mind that heheh. And there is this guy Ive liked for a long time n I can tell he likes me too ,but like you said he's prob scared to ask me out because of what other people would think. Oh well.... I'm just glad to find out that I'm not the only who has the same problems. Yay! :) plus ima huge anime freak! xD

Viagra said...

It takes a while to find that perfect person that likes you, and everything you come with. It took me a lot of time to find this person for me, she is perfect but at the time we met she had no idea i was a metalhead (am) and she didn't liked metal at all, but hell... I got her into it and know ashe goes to concerts with me... there's nothing like love.

The Relationship Company said...

Just wanted to say.. great post.........

Beccy said...

Good grief, that's a lot of comments. Anyway, just came upon your blog and read your two dating posts. Very interesting topic, and I can relate.

I'm currently 20 (21 in a week) and I've always been into the alternative subculture scene, both punk then goth since I was thirteen. I'm the only black in my circle of friends, and have always been and thus always dated white guys (I'm female). I will be honest: I am mostly only attracted to white males, preferably long hair and alternative and all my boyfriends have fit the description. Some have been more hippie-esque than metal, and I guess I prefer that more than metal guys.

I do attend the metal and goth scene when out, and I know what you mean it can feel "difficult" to be a black chick amongst all them gorgeous white long-haired men. Though, usually metal/goth/alternative guys hit on me whenever I let my guards down, so it's not really a problem. Many actually see it as a fresh breath of air away from the usual white metal chick stereotype. The problem is to find someone I like, myself. XD

I mean, I get stared at, but I guess they're used to me now. Some feel weird and ask me why I am like I am, and I tell them and then all is fine. Once you get out of that ignorance-zone, it's usually all good. Heck, I've experienced more "racism" or prejudice OUTSIDE the alternative subculture scene, than inside it. I don't even think I've suffered any such thing from that scene openly, so I don't really think skin color is an actual issue, more so how you portray yourself.

That's why I prefer the alternative scene. They're usually more open minded than the conservative mindset of today's society. Just my thoughts.

- Chera.

The Black Girl into Heavy Metal said...

@Beccy-Just to make it clear. I date interracially just because I've just happened to but I don't put any race of guys on a pedestal. If I like a Latino, Asian, or black guy I will date them. My love life is not limited to white dudes. I think like I said in the post the only requirement I have is for lengthy hair. This quote from your comment, "..know what you mean it can feel "difficult" to be a black chick amongst all them gorgeous white long-haired men". Make me feel like you sort of idolize these men in a way. (just my observation). And I wanted to make it clear that I, personally, just like hairy men. Period.