Your Pretty Cool...For a Black Chick: The Backhanded Compliment
Any black girl into this scene has gotten this comment. I guarantee it.
Or the Oreo reference. (If you don't know what that is-look it up).
I've also received:
"Wow, your really pretty for a black girl".
"I've never met a black girl like you"
"Your skinny for a black girl."
"Your the nicest black girl I've ever met"
"I never considered dating a black girl until I met you "
Yadda yadda, these weird pseudo-compliments.
Apparently they come from a good place but if anyone ever seriously gave you a "compliment" like this, would you be pleased or mortified?
You can guess which one I am.
I'd say 75 % if this dribble comes from guys and the other 25% from girls.
Although I'm not a fan of the band Straight line Stitch I like to keep up with them because they are the biggest upcoming metal band fronted by a black girl...ever. At least that I know of.
Sometimes it frustrates the hell out of me reading the comments people write about them...and by them I mean her. Just peruse the Metal Sucks topics on SLS, as well as YouTube comments. on their videos.
It literally makes me sick. It must drive the lead singer crazy.
I don't know how many comments I've seen about her being a heavy metal Beyonce (of course, the only black singer they could come up with) or her 'whipping her hair back and forth' better than Will Smiths' daughter. All of these references are irrelevant because the girl has a heavy metal soul. I don't have an issue with them comparing her to Jada Pinketts' band Wicked Wisdom so much because I can understand that.
This issue is obviously due to her race. Plain and simple. No tip-toeing around it. And she's a female.
I think the issue with blacks in metal-the core issue-is that we want to be treated just like every other metal head and not bombarded with these tags and labels that confine us to the place we are trying desperately to escape.
I know, that equality shtick is such an overused motif for the black race but in this case it is extremely important. I hate harping on this crap but every time I see a glimmer of hope in humanity I read a few comments on YouTube and am thrusted abruptly back into the ignorant mass consciousness that we live in today.
I guess I should say unconscious rather than ignorant. They don't think its a bad thing to say but its not necessarily good either. And, I realize its a "free" country-anyone can say what they want (behind the safe glow of a computer screen-much like myself) but, call me crazy, I always try to think about what I write or type before I commit it.
To black people (and the other enlightened handful) into the scene, the lead singer is just a pretty girl who fronts a mediocre metal band. That is all.
To everyone else she is a surprisingly pretty black girl that fronts a nu metal band that isn't that good but that's okay because she's fuckable.
And for the record if the girl is pretty, she MUST be mixed with something for the person to have found her attractive let alone human.
I even weep for females in general when I read the comments comparing her to bands that don't even share the same genre within metal but because they are both female fronted-we have to compare and decide who is better. As if females don't compare themselves to each other enough already.
A few more points I want to make:
*I realize that not everyone thinks this way. Most of the time when I generalize in the blog, I really mean what I believe the mass (as a whole) of metal heads are thinking. There are exceptions in every minority and majority.
*Not to call black folks out but like I've said before-we don't help our own situation. I'm definitely not saying anyone should contour to anyone elses' sense of standards. However, I believe if most people are stereotyping us a certain way-that may be an incentive to change a bit, yes? I know that's a hard pill to swallow but just think about it.
So, any black girls that read this blog, post your own ridiculous back handed compliments you've received and lets compare. I'm positive that you have gotten your fair share.
I will close by saying if at any point you have thought of saying any of these "compliments" to a girl/guy-regardless of race or have said them; perhaps you should edit either black, white, brown, yellow or girl/guy out of the sentence and rather put person, woman/man, or human being.
"I am not an elephant! I am not an animal! I am a human being! I am a man! "