Your Not Black Enough.

I'm sure everyone, atleast the black people, that visit this blog have gotten this so much that they are tired of hearing it. The termonology used to describe a black person into alternative cultures beside 'black' culture (whatever that is)-'oreo'. Or have heard phrases such as 'You talk/act white', 'you listen to white music' (again whatever that is). You've tried to explain and rexplain why this is or maybe you have gotten to the point, like I have, where your tired of explaining why you cannot be into whatever your into and not be held back by the social or cultural boundaries that bind you to your own. I'll go into that in a much later blog.

This specifically is about an incident that happened to me recently and was acted upon so bluntly that even though its been weeks, I'm still in a bit of shock. I'm involved in theatre in my school and we had a friend of my director's stop by to give us some positve pointers on an upcoming show. So we performed and afterwords he was giving us notes.

I have a solo in this musical we happened to be doing and even though I never asked for it, I got the 'gospel' esque song even though EVERYONE who really knows me-knows that I am anything but gospel-esque. (I have an inkling she gave me the solo because I was black -_-). To make a long story short the guy asks me to come to him and then he says I have something to tell you. So he precedes to whisper in my ear 'You need to be more black' and I was suddenly transported to all my middle school memories of those exact words told slightly by different from various people that have come and gone in my life. I was embarrassed and perplexed. I didn't know what to do so I just laughed and fumed back to my seat where some of the fellow actors had heard and were laughing, completly oblivious to my disdain.

My question is-since when has just being black in general not good enough? Hell, my father is African-isn't that pretty damn well black? I performed the next time around and did the things that they wanted me to do-which was dance while singing, put more 'soul' into it, gyrate, and pratically obtain the 'yes massa' mentality by doing what they wanted for a successful show.

Anything to make society happy, right?


HellCat said…
OUCH! School racism. ...that they don't even know they're doing. ...the worst.
I feel you pain. I've never had something that awful happen but I used to be in theatre in highschool and we did a Moliere play and I was the main character's baby daughter and had to wear a nightgown and bonnet. When a couple of the other kids and their parents saw my costume they immediately demanded I be given a better looking costume instead of a plain nightgown; since I was black and the rest of the family was not, to avoid any confusion. To this day, I don't know how to feel about that one. All through the performance were "slave revolt" jokes bounced off me backstage by friends who said it'd be cool if I got to shoot everyone in the audience who just ASSUMED I was the main characters' slave just because I was black and he was white.
Anonymous said…
It’s true, there is a black girl who listen black metal and particularly Pagan Metal ??? There is only 20 peoples who have visited your blog. It’s HUGE. Ah ah ah.
I see you like Finntroll, Wintersun, Faun. Do you know these bands use traditional european instrument (for instance Faur and Finntroll) and draw inspiration from legends and folklore Celtic, Scandinavian and more on the whole European?
Why a black girl could to be interested to these culture ?
That you like Gorgoroth, Mayhem, Keep Of Kalessin (listen Profundi : i can understand... but bands like Tyr or for instance Windir (the best band of Pagan metal ever - ) or Bran Barr, Kroda, Obtest, Theudho, Waylander, Helrunar, Fimbultyr, Moonsorrow, Heol Telwen, Falkenbach, Numen etc which uses European traditional elements, listen these bands for a black girl, it’s curious and funny.

PS : Sorry for my english : i don’t speak english very well.
ky. said…
The ignorance of most people....
Why does it surprise you? Tons of people around the world (who aren't black) listen to rap, dancehall, african music, etc and have adapted aspects of that culture.
Why should it be any different with black people?
And I'm confused because I can't figure out if your mocking me or just really perplexed.

@Hellcat-yep, it is the worst kind of racism-the unconscious kind.
Narsilion said…
No no, i have nothing against you. I respect you for your originality and i admire your individuality. I imagine that it’s not easy. You must be rejected. Where from comes this need to be different ?

“Why does it surprise you? Tons of people around the world (who aren't black) listen to rap, dancehall, african music, etc and have adapted aspects of that culture.”

Yes true but for black people, it’s not common. Proof : your blog isn’t very visited.

“Why should it be any different with black people?”

Proud probably and will not to be linked to whites. Asians don’t have this problem.

What is interesting for you in European culture and its legends ?
@Narsilion-I'm not sure. I've always been really interested in Pagan religions and folklore-specifically from the Baltic region. Then I started getting into metal music and found bands that focused on such themes. I can't explain it-someday I want to make it to Paganfest.
Anyways-I enjoy most of those bands you listed.Thanks for the feedback.
RainaHavock said…
I haven't really gotten this but I had one person asking me do I believe in God because I got a book out of the House of Voodoo when I was in New Orleans. It wasn't even a spell book it was just a book about Marie Leavau, the Voodoo Queen for crying out loud. So far I haven't gotten that since i entered college this year in fact I found alot of other black people who are into the same things I'm into and I'm at HBCU so that's saying something. I don't why people do this I mean Rock was created by guess what black people! You can ask Rock n Roll greats like the Rolling Stones and they'll tell you who inspired them. So I don't when Rock no matter what genre because considered "White" Music
Anonymous said…
I used to get that everyday in Junior High.Some asked me if I live in a all white neighborhood because of my music taste (I listen to almost everything,also where I live there is a whole mix of people with different cultures), most kids don't consider me black but more of a mixed which is true but the way they point that out, calling me Pocahontas because of my somewhat long hair.Also, do to the fact that I am Haitian American, kids in the class somewhat love to separate others even if they are black. It was stupid.Before there was this whole Jamaicans Vs.Haitians thing where (mostly the boys) beat up or target others every week.One boy wants to know who is Haitian and when I raise two hands up, people have this "WTF" look on their face. After that they didn't say anymore Haitian jokes and the fights died down probably because of Deans roaming the halls at the time.I used to remember in High School, there was a black girl who had an alternate style which I've never seen before and I admire her for dressing that way.We've been friends. Thanks to her I wouldn't have the courage to truly be myself.Even after, I've seen a lot of Black people liking different kinds of music and not into the common mold.Now I see more Black kids into skateboarding and wearing band t-shirts with creative looks which was somewhat rare to see years ago.I used to remember people teasing me about my style and mocking me on the streets a lot.I'm still true to myself after my 20's but it's not as nerve racking.
Kyler said…
People will say things, like we don't live in a racist country because we have a black president. Yet it's the exact opposite

We still are ruled by a white patriarchy. And racism is embedded within this capitalist system.

White men, think they own the world, and that everyone should stay in their places. Especially a black woman.

It's complete bullshit, listen to whatever music you want.

I'm a black anarchist girl who loves crust, punk, and hiphop.
Kyler: Welcome to the blog and thanks for commenting.

I think its utterly retarded when anyone claims the country isn't racist because of Obama (who they either forget is half white or they only mention when it suits their agenda). Sure, he was elected but racist people still live in this country and the older generation is still here.

And I'm very happy for anyone (including you) who wants to break out of the suffocating box that we (black people) are tossed into to make other people comfortable. As long as white patriarchy rules, the standards by which we live by will always be questioned.

Honestly, its tiresome.

But it is very interesting how what you listen to can define who you are to other people, and if your black-what your supposed to listen to is raphiphopr&bsoulneosouletc.
But I personally, am more than just my choice in music.

Good comment.

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